Never is a very ambitious word when you’re a mum. It’s easy enough to say when you don’t actually have any kids of your own, but once you are a parent, it’s much more difficult to say that you will never do something. Trust me.
So, for your enjoyment, here are 10 things I thought I’d never do:
1. Let my kid have cheezies for breakfast. Just because he is sick and sad and asking for them is no excuse for bad food habits. I also never thought that I would rely on chicken strips to get my kid to eat meat. What kind of parent does that?
2. Let him play with my precious, um, I mean my phone or iPad…
3. Breastfeed him for 3 years. I admit, I was initially creeped out a bit by the whole idea of breastfeeding. I knew I would give it a good shot, but apparently had no idea…
4. Feel anxiety at the thought of him sleeping in his own room, away from me, at night. What if he needs me and I am sleeping and don’t hear him? What if…
5. Drink out of a cup after he has drank some, especially when there is also food involved. Have you seen the nasty backwash in a kid’s cup?
6. Sniff a bum. Or, for that matter, pulled back the elastic on the butt and had a peek inside to make sure that there were no unpleasant surprises lurking inside
7. Know the words to what seems like a million songs by the Wiggles and know them all by voice. ” Toot toot chugga chugga big red…” Uh, am I the only one singing?
8. Said “Hey, we don’t lick Mummy’s bum” (cheek, it was the cheek!), or, “Don’t lick the cat”. See a pattern here?
9. Polished off a half kid eaten chocolate because he so sweetly handed it to me and said “Mummy eat?”
10. Never turn on a DVD or TV show for the kid so that I could work, or rest, or take a pee by myself. The TV or computer is not a babysitter, right?
And for a bonus, because it just happened this weekend
11. Stood by and chatted with the kid about the contents of his vomit. ” Oh no, I spit on floor. Oh look, there’s mac and cheese! Mummy, look, mac and cheese”. Did I mention that I am puke-phobic?
Most of all though, I never thought that I would love being a Mum as much as I do. It surprises me all the time.
There are so many other things that I know that I said I’d never do, and maybe I’ll make another list someday. Any that you would care to share?